Shame.com.au
The Seniors Revolution
Dear Australia,
Mark my words, there is a war coming that will shake the foundations of society itself. This isn’t a skirmish between politicians or a jostle amongst terrorists… this war is a response to a sickening trend that is hurling the human race towards definite and shameful destruction.
This is not global warming – though it has me hot with rage. This isn’t a global pandemic – but it better make you very sick. This war is the direct result of a species abandoning its heritage and salivating towards innovationatanycost.com… at the expense of the most valuable member of the human family.
In ancient times (those times that came before the introduction of widely available computers) elders were honoured. When a person attained an age where his or her hair began to change to a whiter hue, respect was guaranteed. In modern times (those times where computer addiction is a survival skill) respect is promised to those people who change their hair from brown to pink. A graceful and comfortable retirement was a rightful expectation in those good old days, but that guarantee is now gone. Information technology is the cause, but we are all to blame.
The Internet now encompasses everything. Like a strangler fig that survives centuries after its host tree has vanished, businesses, social services, law enforcement and every other aspect of society-as-we-knew-it will soon be ‘online’ – shrouded in a digital shell aimed to distract and cloak the true nature of its prey.
Of course the Internet isn’t all bad. Information is immediately accessible and freely available like never before, shopping no longer requires getting out of bed and there’s no need to talk to a customer support officer any more – just send an e-mail and wait a few days for a response.
But what if you simply do not want to engage with the Internet? What if you would like to drive to the local branch of your bank, talk to a teller and withdraw some cash? What if you would like to chat to a Centrelink officer on the phone? What if you’ve bowed to pressure from your family, purchased a computer, mouse, keyboard, Internet access plan, modem, monitor, anti-virus software, Microsoft office package and you just want to send an e-mail but can’t find anyone to tell you how?
The experts on the topic, aka ‘the-youth-of-today’ are too busy to help you. They are hard at work ensuring that more and more societal services are choked by the efficiency of the colossal Internet Machine. Of course, even if the-youth-of-today had a spare moment to help grandma with the computer, she wouldn’t understand a word unless the youngster stretched his mental powers to breaking point to formulate a fitting metaphor to explain the Internet in senior-centric terms. He’s too busy blogging about WoW anyway (if you don’t know what WoW is, just google it (if you don’t know what google is, just google it)).
There’s a pattern emerging, ladies and gentlemen. Just like a sniper’s sneeze – by the time we recognise what we’re looking at, it may be too late.
The youth are determining the course of the future. But wait! Haven’t youth always been the future? No! We are all the future! The flawed system that is swiftly destroying society is giving real and dangerous power not to twenty-somethings, but to ten-somethings. Does a thirteen year old computer addict care about her grandparents’ survival in an increasingly techno-dependent world?
“Grandma this is the information superhighway, I’ll just drop you off here.”
“Pardon me young lady… the information super-what?”
“Grandma, seriously, Zach is online in a few minutes, just shut up.”
“But I don’t know where I am! What does this button do? Where am I?”
“Seeya grannie, if you get stuck just stick your thumb out and hopefully someone will give you a lift.”
Someone will definitely give grannie a lift. It will be a marketing company, an online casino, a porn site, a faux-virus-protection site, a Trojan horse stud or a friendly Nigerian gentleman who wants to give away his interest in Africa’s largest bank. Poor grandma won’t know the difference between Mother Teresa and Ivan Milat.
Why has Australian society turned its back on senior citizens? Where’s the love? Where’s the respect? The love is for the adrenaline hit of a new e-mail arriving or a crush coming online and the respect is for the guy who just made the latest movie available for free.
Whilst this passive digital pain is being directed at our seniors, there are elderly people literally rotting in nursing homes, literally starving on the federally sponsored poverty line and having absolutely no chance at finding work of any sort due to an inferior understanding of basic computing.
How did we let this happen?
And it’s just getting worse!
The Internet is now unstoppable – that much is clear. What we must do is ensure that seniors can get onboard without delay – for their own survival but also for the good of mankind. Allowing seniors to remain IT illiterate and offline is the same as taking centuries of wisdom of an entire race and pressing ‘delete’.
Who cares what 15-year-old Tiffany thinks of Paris Hilton? No one – not even Tiffany. Who cares about what it was like to fight in the trenches or witness the rise of the car? We all should! As the Internet grows, and more and more seniors are left behind, wisdom itself is surely destroyed. Irretrievable.
Disgraceful.
Praise be to the seniors computer clubs of Australia and library computer training programmes. Three cheers for the volunteers who show the elderly how to send an e-mail! Hooray for the grandkids who give a damn!
This is war.
Australia must thaw the ice of negligence that has frozen today’s youth. If doctors stopped passing on their knowledge, there would be outcry. The youth of Australia have something extremely valuable, and if this knowledge is not shared with all seniors, who deserve respect and honour, our society is condemned.
The old will die unnoticed.
The young will grow old.
This disgusting cycle will go on.
Oi, you over there, young man with the hunched shoulders – show your grandmother how to google something. Hey, you – teenage girl with the facebook addiction! Go down to the retirement village and teach the elders about social networking.
You! Yes, you!
This is The Seniors Revolution.
Yours faithfully,
Mr B Hall
